As a coach I regularly meet with people and businesses who are stuck.
They demonstrate complex and subtle behaviour patterns around their problems. These behaviour patterns appear in multiple guises and dis-guises.
It is the behaviour which surrounds the problem that causes the feeling of being stuck.
There are always two sides to a problem;
- The problem
- The emotions (which often grow the problem out of all proportion!)
The actual problem itself dis-guises itself merely as a series of choices which appears only to have one answer.
Created by the Ego, emotions come in clouds. Clouds which tend to disguise the truth and build the appearance that there are few, if any, choices.
It is human nature for people to interpret the same situation, the same problem, differently to others. Through their own ‘lens’, or view of the world, so to speak.
We tend to seek interaction with others, seeking to be reassured. Striving to build layer upon layer of ‘proof’ and justification for our own emotions.
We subconsciously look to share and feed off of the emotions of others. Whether by agreeing or disagreeing, we create deeper reason (or proof) for our emotional state.
We consciously and subconsciously develop a view of the World to suit what our Egoic emotions convince us is real.
Looking beyond the emotions for the truth.
In order to understand the truth, I encourage clients to look beyond the emotional stories they have built for themselves. I support them to find what sits at source rather than what is presented outwardly.
We all experience our own journey and our own set of choices. The ‘right’ choice is not always the easiest and is usually the one masked with emotion. It is often found in a place called the 'shadow', a place we choose to ignore. We ignore it because it is often too hard to face.
This is all absolutely OK.
We are all in exactly the right place and exactly the right situation, this becomes apparent when we move beyond the emotion.
How to move beyond the emotion and make the right choice.
By creating a space for someone to reveal their own set of choices, a great coach is able to build a framework to take a fresh new perspective, something impartial, factual.
I move people up layers of context, to remove emotion from the situation. I create opportunities for them to build a series of tangible steps to move past the actual issues, gathering multiple choices along the way.
Then, by making a different choice, through awareness, they move forwards.
Helping them to 'let go' of something, releasing them to continue their journey, empowered and free.
Be present to your emotions in a given situation and ask yourself, “What do I see if I put my emotions to one side?”
Write down everything which describes the problem you face. Describe it fully and honestly, do not hold back. I find that people create a few sides of A4 in writing and text. The more you create, the better.
When you have finished writing, go through each word and delete ALL of the emotion words.
What is left, is a non emotional description of your true problem. The answer will be on the page. This is what you need to 'let go' of.
Now you can start to create more choices to move forwards.